Habits - pieces of your leadership puzzle

You are a creature of habits

Your brain is wired for your survival. Your habits help. Your habits mean you don’t have to stop and think about every little thing, every time you do it. Thinking about new things uses your Pre-Frontal Cortex (PFC) which takes a lot of energy. So you make habits of as many things as you possibly can, as quickly as you can.

Habits of doing, thinking and feeling

You have habits of doing - like when you eat and what you eat; and habits of thinking - like categorising people to help you decide (quickly) how far you can trust them; and habits of feeling - like feeling energised (or not) when conflict erupts. Together, these habits build into your persistent patterns of behaviour.

Your unique worldview

You also have some bigger picture ‘frames’ or ‘stories’ about yourself; about others; and about the world around you - which make up your unique worldview. You create many habits to complement or amplify this view.

Open or closed?

The challenge, when you want to change, can be disentangling one little habit from your worldview. Because you are wired to survive AND you have settled on your personal worldview (which keeps you safe), you have a well-established thinking habit of closing your mind to all the things which do not fit inside your worldview. These features of your amazing brain might keep your mindset closed…

If you tried on a more open mindset, you could become curious and your experience could deepen and grow. With an open mind, you will begin to notice that some of your habits are getting in your way. For example, you could notice that the world has changed and you are now aiming at a different result - but what your team is doing is not getting that result? Or perhaps the leaders in your organisational system are feeling stuck - almost as if there are no other options? You might recognise the habit of thinking in a fixed or narrow way? Could you open up debates, discussions and solutions; to broaden those habitually narrow viewpoints?

The process of change

When you are ready to change a habit - any habit - such as thinking there’s only one way to lead; or being ‘nice’ at the expense of building an effective team.

• Take a little time.

• Ask yourself a few helpful questions.

• Reflect.

• Explore.

Remember to include your habits of thinking and your beliefs.

Some useful questions ask yourself include:

• What are some of your habits of thinking here? (There’s nothing I can do; we have tried everything - for example.)

• When did you create those habits?

• How did these habits help you to survive or thrive?

• How do you feel with these (old) habits?

You may note you have habits of doing tied up with your habits of thinking. Habits such as: telling team members that everything will be fine (when you know it won’t); dismissing ideas about what could work better - because you have ‘tried everything’ or because new ideas reflect badly on you - because you did not think of them. Instead you may look for look for:

• What is changing?

• What is motivating you to change these habits?

• How would you like things to be different? How would you like to feel?

• What are those frames or stories about how you see the world which have held these habits in place?

• What are you ready to change or shift to create new habits?

Thinking about change produces energy; it shifts things out of  ‘normal’ or ‘business as usual’ and into ‘transition’, or even ‘chaos’. Even when you can see that the outcome of that change will be positive, this shifting feeling is one of the challenges of change. It’s something to practice - allowing that state of transition or chaos, which is a crucial part of your learning journey.

Our Habits dictate how we are experienced by others and how we lead. Our habits can change and evolve with our leadership as we choose to focus on creating new habits. 

If you’d like to learn more about yourself as a leader (moment by moment); or to work with a coach; or to find some new tools:

• You can begin your process by undertaking your own reflection on your leaders with presence self-assessment; or

• please reach out to us at leaderswithpresence@gmail.com